| |
| |
|
Attraction Information |
|
|
|
<
Save This Page Links 
allspectrum.info Link exchange submission form: Featured Site Closing the Feedback Loop
In earlier articles, I've often spoken about the supreme importance of becoming a good listener. I've even gone as far as to suggest that listening might be the most important communication skill of them all. It should be so simple. Yet, it's not simple. Before I explain why, let me tell you an enlightening story. Dr. Mort Orman of Stresscure.com conducted a communication seminar for a group of experienced physicians on the staff of a certain hospital. It was held on the hospital premises. One particular doctor was a rather reluctant attendee - he showed up only because his department head had pressured him to do so. During the seminar, participants were paired up with partners, and one member of each pair was asked to play the role of a patient with a problem. The partner played the role of physician or counselor. The catch was the "doctors" weren't allowed to do or say anything. Their job was just to sit and listen, while their "patients" described their complaints and thought aloud while trying to work out their own solution. As Dr Orman notes (and as a veteran physician, he should know!) to tell a doctor to just sit there and listen - without as much as thinking of what to do - is usually asking an awful lot. But the response of our reluctant participant took everyone by surprise. For the first time, he really understood...At the end of the experiment, when everyone was sharing their insights and experiences, he raised his hand and announced with unmistakable enthusiasm: "What I learned from this exercise is that I almost never listen to my patients! I'm mostly paying attention to the thoughts in my own head, and I never really appreciated this until today." Apparently, this man was so excited by this new awareness of self that whenever there was a short break in the remaining seminar proceedings, he would rush upstairs to practice listening to his patients. He would sit on the bed, ask a few questions, and then listen intently. In fact, he was so impressed with his newly-found power - not dawning on him that he had possessed it all along - that he would consistently arrive late for start of the following session. For the first time, he felt he really understood what made his patients tick - or why they weren't ticking, depending which way you look at it. Now, when you go out your way to try to understand how others are feeling, how they perceive a given situation, what's really bugging them, the process, as a rule, doesn't just end there. Well, at least, it shouldn't. Most likely, you'll respond. You'll communicate back to the other parties your awareness of their feelings and perceptions, your appreciation of their hopes, doubts and fears. Before you know it, you have created what some writers call a feedback loop. To close a feedback loop, in short, requires validation of the message your opposite number wants to convey to you, even if you don't agree with it. Here's a true incident to illustrate what can happen when a feedback loop is not closed. It's a very extreme example, and it's very far from a pretty story. But it does give us something to think about. During World War Two, one cattle car after another, packed with human cargo, arrived at the Auschwitz death camp. Terrified, naked people were driven with whips into the gas chambers. But two young men managed to escape under a pile of clothing that was being carted away in a truck. Even more than the desire to save their own lives, they were motivated by the wish to warn their fellow Jews of the incredible scenes they had witnessed with their own eyes. Unfortunately, hardly any one believed them. The few who did were silenced as being crazy or lacking in faith. Eventually, both young men committed suicide. As I said, an extreme, most tragic, case. Who knows how we would have reacted had we been the listeners? But at least we should understand the added pain of a spouse or fellow worker who shares with us something weighing very heavily on their minds, when we respond with a glib, perfunctory: "Don't worry, everything will be OK!" It's like removing a chair from under their feet. Azriel Winnett is the creator of Hodu. com - Your Communication Skills Portal. This popular website helps you to improve your communication and relationship skills on all levels, in business and professional life, in the family unit, and on the social scene. New articles added almost daily.
MORE RESOURCES:
Attraction - Google News 
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Quick Tips On Becoming The Best In Your Field Want to be the best in your field?Edward W. Smith, motivational speaker, author and TV show host, who specializes in quick tips on how to move your life ahead even faster, offers the following advice. Mental, Emotional and Physical Prosperity To create true, lasting prosperity, almost any guru can tell you that you must align your physical, mental and emotional states and actions. This all sounds very logical, but when it comes right down to it, most of us are not quite certain how to proceed. 10 Powerful Tenets Of Personal & Professional Leadership Using The Law Of Attraction Leadership is an innate ability in all of us. Using the principals of the Law of Attraction to strengthen our leadership and consciously use it in our personal and professional endeavors will not only attract more success to us it will allow us to be of service to others and make a valuable contribution. Increasing Money by Conquering Personal Fear and Greed One of the first lessons that "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" teaches is about understanding and controlling fear and greed. Many people go to work and work hard not to learn more and to grow, but out of fear that they won't have enough money to pay their bills. 4 Steps To Having the Life You REALLY Want! Over time, the TIP's Letters that receive the most response have dealt with creating and living the life you really want. Many of us are incredibly frustrated at not being able to reach our dreams and have the life we want. Follow Your Passion The key to a successful life lies in following your passions. When you do this the Universe responds in a dynamic way. The Competition Fallacy So many people falsely think that if they help another, they are helping the competition. This scarcity perspective breeds greed and insecurity; ultimately, people who hold it will realize that had they not been helped at certain times, they would not have had the opportunity to be where they are today. The Monkey And The Spreadsheet When the mind was fidgety, like a monkeyWhen you felt restless, it helped to understand drives. The mind perceived, recognized and interpreted. Five Ways To Create On Purpose By Living In The Moment What can you do to really immerse yourself into living more consciously every day? "We look backward too much and we look forward too much; thus we miss the only eternity of which we can be absolutely sure - the eternal present, for it is always now." - William Phelps 1 - NOW is the only moment that matters. The Self Appreciation Enhancer Very often when you are talking to people what you really want deep down is to feel significant, liked and important. Consequently you watch what you are saying and are careful not to say the wrong thing. 9 Exercises to Enhance Your Self-Expertise Personal Self-Expertise is an invaluable tool that transforms the way you communicate in your business and personal lives. It functions as a front porch for two reasons: 1) It equips you with the confidence of knowing exactly who you are; and 2) It magnetizes others to you because they admire and respect those who know exactly who they are. The Secret of Self Care Wherever you go, there you are. There's no escaping it - your world is a reflection of you and if the view in your mirror doesn't elicit a certain spark perhaps it's time to question the underlying assumptions. Just Allow? But How? If you've been practising the Law of Attraction, then you're probably familiar with the expressions, "just Allow" and "it will come." Well, technically, both expressions are true. Why Cant You be More Like Me? Here is a non-scientific, but fun way to see which style you may be. Read the poem below and then identify which one of the styles is most like you. Wanderers How a few people become the worst victims of life's game, or to call it their own fate. How they are compelled to analyze life, wasting most of their time meant to prove themselves in the real world. Abundance or Scarcity: What Belief Do You Choose to Engage? For the last several years, I have included on my email signature the following salutation "Peace and Abundance." This is a daily reminder that my success begins with how I engage my beliefs. The Laws of the Universe What I am about to tell you will take a very open mind to comprehend. So please, open your mind. The Number One Secret to Success in Business Clarity!If there is such a thing as a "secret" to success in business (or life) then Clarity is it. Clarity IS the first step towards designing your ideal business. The Top 10 Roadblocks to Attracting Prosperity and what We can Do About Them! If it were easy, everyone would do IT; everyone would have IT.That "IT" is prosperity and we're all trying to achieve that stage in our lives where wealth, health, success are a daily part of our lives. Its All Up to You (Nobody is Coming to Save You!) As painful as this realization may be, it is absolutely true. Wherever we are in our lives and whatever we are doing, it is because we have put ourselves there.
|
