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How To Make Your Dreams Come True


Editors Note: Family Circle Interview (2003) with Dr. Wayne Dyer:

Could 2003 be your lucky year - the one in which you fulfill a dream, improve your health, increase prosperity and feel happier?

Absolutely, says bestselling author Wayne Dyer, whose latest book is 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace (Hay House). Dyer believes that positive thinking and a spiritual connection can lead to dramatic improvements in anyone's life.

He also insists that changing your thoughts and attitudes really can lead to making your most impossible dreams come true. All you need is a burning desire and an unwavering vision of what will eventually materialize.

In a talk with Family Circle, Dyer explains how to create a new contract with yourself that will enable you to make of your life everything you want it to be.

Family Circle: How do you make 2003 the year for a personal transformation?

Dyer: First look at any disharmony or scarcity in your life - your finances, struggles, even some health problems - and say: I created this. My life is the result of the choices I've made. What we think determines what happens to us, so if we want to change our lives, we need to stretch our minds.

Family Circle: Is that New Age psychobabble or does it really work?

Dyer: It may sound like psychobabble, but in fact, we become what we think about. William James, the father of psychology, said that if you form a picture in your mind of what you would like to be, and you hold it there long enough, it will become a reality. I've found that has worked for me.

Family Circle: Give an example.

Dyer: When I wrote my first book, Your Erroneous Zones, there was nothing I wouldn't do to make it a success. I called bookstores to create a demand, then delivered the books to the stores myself! I always say it's never crowded along the extra mile.

Family Circle: But what if your life isn't changing in the ways that you want it to?

Dyer: Realize that insanity is repeating the same thoughts and behaviors again and again, and expecting different results. To get a new outcome, you have to rewrite your agreement with reality, which I do regularly.

Family Circle: What do you mean?

Dyer: You have to compose a brand-new agreement with yourself that says: There is nothing that is not possible for me. I can attract abundance into my life. Connect with that thought. Norman Vincent Peale said, "Change your thoughts and you change your world."

Family Circle: So if you want to lose 10 pounds . . .

Dyer: First visualize yourself looking the way you want to and never let that picture out of your head. Envision yourself eating healthful foods and exercising. If you hold those thoughts in your mind, you'll act on them.

Family Circle: So what happens when you focus on all the things that you don't have?

Dyer: You stay stuck. Every thought you have either makes you stronger or weaker. Thoughts of kindness, hope, forgiveness, and peace are strengthening. Anger, anxiety, worry, and fear weaken you. You must process events in terms of appreciation rather than depreciation. You either feel that the universe is plentiful and providing, or you feel short-changed, that nothing is ever right. That's what I call a scarcity mentality - expecting that things won't work out for you. I was recently on a plane that was running 30 minutes late. The woman sitting next to me said, "With my luck, I won't make my connection." I answered, "With my luck, I will!" I think she may still be in Dallas. Family Circle: How can you reprogram yourself?

Dyer: Before you go to bed, create an image of what you want for yourself; then act as if you are who you want to be. Catch yourself verbalizing self-defeating thoughts, stop labeling yourself, and take time just to be.

Family Circle: And how do you do all that?

Dyer: You quiet your mind. On average, a person has 60,000 separate thoughts a day. We're thinking too much! As an ancient proverb says, "It's the silence between the notes that makes the music." So get quiet. Meditate; go for a walk; listen to the birds, the ocean. Breathe in the fresh air and allow your mind to let go.

Family Circle: can just hear workaholics saying they don't have the time to do that.

Dyer: If you don't take time for being healthy, you'll eventually have to make time for being sick. You can meditate for two minutes at a red light. Just close your eyes, take a deep breath, and clear your mind. The person behind you will let you know when your two minutes are up!

Family Circle: What are the signs of inner peace?

Dyer: People who have a sense of peace tend to smile, feel compassion, and enjoy the moment. They lose interest in conflict, and they don't worry!

Family Circle: You often say, "Stop worrying because there's nothing to worry about." How can that be?

Dyer: It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there's nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized.

Family Circle: So the next time you're tossing and turning in bed . . . ?

Dyer: My teacher in India always said, "First think of God, whatever God means to you. Think of the universal force that allows an acorn to turn into an oak tree or a blossom to become an orange." The moment you bring spiritual energy to the present, worry and anguish dissolve.

Family Circle: Other than yourself, do you know anyone who has mastered this?

Dyer: I don't know that I have! I've got eight kids and I struggle with the same things most people do. I've dealt with marital problems and addictions. What I've learned is to remind myself that all I have is today. That helps me shift my attention to what's good and right.

Family Circle: You always say that forgiveness is a dramatic way to transform a life. Forgiving your father for abandoning his family was a turning point for you.

Dyer: After he died, I went to my father's grave and told him, I don't know what motivated you to run your life as you did, but I forgive you. Afterward I felt a deep sense of relief and peace. Forgiveness is transforming. I use the metaphor of the snake bite. It is not the bit that kills you; it's the venom. When you hold a grudge, the poisons of anger and blame destroy you. Your heart weakens, your blood pressure rises, you get ulcers. It wrecks your health, makes you miserable.

Family Circle: And when you forgive . . .

Dyer: . . . miracles begin to appear in your life because forgiveness heals. It's the core of every great spiritual teaching - from Jesus and Buddha to Gandhi and Mother Teresa.

Family Circle: You also recommend the art of detachment, calling it "one of life's great lessons." What do you mean?

Dyer: I mean detach from the opinions of others; from the habit of judging or controlling others; from the past; from the need to be right and to win; from an obsession with material things. Follow your passion in life, but detach from the outcome and allow the universe to handle the details.

Family Circle: So, as we usher in 2003, what would you say is the key to achieving happiness?

Dyer: When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It's to enjoy each step along the way. That's what life is. There's no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. It's what you bring to life.

*Excerpted from Family Circle/January 14, 2003 issue

About The Author:

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, affectionately called the "father of motivation" by his fans, is one of the most widely known and respected people in the field of self-empowerment. He became a well-known author with his bestselling book, Your Erroneous Zones, and has gone on to write many other self-help classics, including Meditations for Manifesting, Staying on the Path, Your Sacred Self, Everyday Wisdom, and You'll See It When You Believe It.


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"The only thing it takes 365 days to change is a year" - Hypnotherapist David Block "If at any time you make a mistake and want to change your selection, press the star key on the telephone pad." - AMC 20 Movie Theater recording Both of the above quotes imply a radical shift in popular thinking about change. They imply that changes can be made quickly, and don't have to take a long, long time. I am constantly searching for the very best "change tools" I can find to help the people with whom I work. I look for tools that offer rapid and effective change, and meet at least three criteria: 1) Simple - any one can use them 2) Profound - they work quickly and they last 3) Dependable - they work just about every time Recently a friend shared with me a wonderful quote from professional speaker Brian Tracy that meets all these criteria and has the potential to be a very rapid and effective change tool. Here's the quote, in the form of a question: "If you were starting over today, what would you do differently? Whatever your answer, start doing it now." All of us would like to have a chance for a "do over" in some area of our lives. Well, maybe in many areas. Although we cannot change the past, this question offers great direction for making both the present and the future more like we would want it to be. Let's look at several areas of our lives and some questions about what we might do over, and then start doing now. In the area of relationships, would you: Be closer to those around you? Stay in touch with people? Let those close to you know how much you value them? In the area of family, would you: Spend more time with them? Go more places with them? Throw out the ridiculous notion of quality time and replace it with quantify time? In the area of marriage, would you: Learn how to communicate more effectively? Make sure, on a regular basis, that your spouse knows they are #1 with you? Honor and cherish them. Remember those words? Ask your self, what am I contributing to making this a cool place to be? In the area of education, would you: Go back to school? Find out about something you've always wanted to know? Take a class you've always wanted to take? Take the time to get really good at something? In the area of health, would you: Get in and stay in the best shape you can? Get rid of some extra pounds? Remember, there's overweight people and there's old people, but there's not a whole lot of old overweight people. Eat in a way that supports you? In the area of finances, would you: Design a life instead of just making a living? Keep track of where the money goes? Work and live within a budget? Put away something for the future on a regular basis? In the area of attitude, would you: Pay attention to yours? Model an attitude you would want friends and family to model? Find something positive in almost any situation? I'm certain there are other areas of your life that you can apply this question. Remember folks, life is not a dress rehearsal, although most of us act like it is. Here's the question again, "If you were starting over today, what would you do differently? Whatever your answer, start doing it now." Don't get caught up and stuck in "I wish I coulda-shoulda-woulda." Focus on what you can do now, and simply and profoundly, go do it. Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MORE RESOURCES: Goalies are the No.1 attraction - Sydney Morning Herald Goalies are the No.1 attraction Sydney Morning Herald, Australia - 2 hours ago A FEW years ago, when he was playing in the old NSL for Sydney Olympic and making save after save in what turned out to be a title-winning campaign, the ... Mane Attraction houses war artifacts - Webster County Journal Enterprise Mane Attraction houses war artifacts Webster County Journal Enterprise, KY - 5 hours ago ... Memorial Day has blossomed into what could be considered a historical museum centered on local residents and their relatives at The Mane Attraction in Dixon. ... The Alberta attraction - StarPhoenix The Alberta attraction StarPhoenix, Canada - 8 hours ago For Saskatchewan, the problem is magnifi ed when province's people simply decide to move next door become Joneses themselves. Alberta's ... Side dish becomes main attraction - Richmond Times Dispatch Side dish becomes main attraction Richmond Times Dispatch, VA - 9 hours ago BY BRYAN MCKENZIE. CISMONT Earnly Chambers should not be surprised if men in black knock on his door or if US Air Force officers ... Mastodon star attraction at kids' museum - London Free Press London Free Press Mastodon star attraction at kids' museum London Free Press, Canada - 11 hours ago By RYAN CUREATZ, FREE PRESS REPORTER. Remains of one of the hairy, elephant-like creatures were displayed yesterday at the London ... Inzzi house an attraction - New Vision New Vision Inzzi house an attraction New Vision, Uganda - 16 hours ago EVEN before it is fully completed, the house (above) being constructed for Dorcus Inzikuru by the government, is already turning into a tourist attraction. ... Jack Sparrow joins crew on Disney ride - Orlando Sentinel Sacramento Bee Jack Sparrow joins crew on Disney ride Orlando Sentinel, FL - 6 hours ago The old ride, which inspired the first Pirates movie, was the last attraction personally supervised by Walt Disney before his death in 1966. ... All decked out Sacramento Bee 'Pirates' a treasure San Gabriel Valley Tribune all 6 related Rising cost of living dents Dubai's attraction - Financial Times Deutschland Rising cost of living dents Dubai's attraction Financial Times Deutschland, Germany - Jul 3, 2006 Many immigrant workers are falling into debt as employers often fail to respond with increased wages. The rising cost of living ... New salesman for St. Charles gears up - St. Louis Post-Dispatch St. Louis Post-Dispatch New salesman for St. Charles gears up St. Louis Post-Dispatch, United States - 10 hours ago ... He also hopes to attract a cruise boat or some other activity on the Missouri River - a natural attraction that he says the city hasn't taken full advantage of ... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Beast What does one do when one is too old, too weak, and feels powerless and regretful? What does one do when one looks back at his life and sees nothing that was worth living for? What does one do when one sees the future coming to an end - the end of a journey? "The journey was not mine," said the old man. "What was that about? Why was I here? What was I suppose to do? Where am I going and will I ever come back? Come back to what, to whom and for what purpose?""What if I would come back, what choices would I have? What roads would I take? What would all this mean to who I will become once again? Would I live a life in fear, in a cage with limits, expectations and demands imposed upon me? Would I blindly follow instructions that would once again lead to destruction? Would I allow my soul to guide me? Would I let it grow, be nourished, and be what it needs to be? Or would I again stifle my inner core to waste, and to be lost as I had allowed it to be lost in this lifetime?"The old man sat under a large apple tree, leaned against its trunk with his legs extended in front of him. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- On Uniqueness Is being special or unique a property of an object (let us say, a human being), independent of the existence or the actions of observers - or is this a product of a common judgement of a group of people?In the first case - every human being is "special", "one of a kind, sui generis, unique". This property of being unique is context-independent, a Ding am Sich. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Are You a Sheep in People Clothing? Many people, who feel that they are independent and communicate well, are actually sheep in disguise. Are you one of them, how do you tell and how do you go about changing if you are?When you are able to confidently stand on your own two feet, you become in control of your own life. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Where Do Your Eyes Gaze? The pupils of the eyes will dilate (enlarge) up to four times their normal size when excited. An angry, negative mood causes the pupils to contract (become smaller). -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Limiting Perceptions and Broadening Horizons If you live in modern society I'm sure at some point in your life you've sat in a window seat of an airplane looking down at the fluffy blanket of clouds and thought to yourself, 'Wow, it's so big and flat, fluffy and soft, I wonder what it would feel like to lay down on that super-soft mattress.' Well, think about what Socrates, Lao Tsu, Confucius, Da Vinci, Van Gogh, Moses or Mohammed would have thought if they saw the same sight that we pretty much take for granted as 'normality'. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Law of Attraction in Action Would you like to be able to experience more of what brings you joy in your life? Do you have unmet wants and desires that have left you feeling unfulfilled in some areas of your life? Were you taught that it is our desires that make us unhappy? Whoever taught us that desire is a bad thing was an unempowered person!Desire is a beautiful thing! It is desire that birthed this world, and it is desire that draws us together to create new life, both physically and metaphysically.Imagine for a moment that you have a genie in a bottle, or a secret potion or wand that, that gives you the power to zap into being more of what you wish for. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5 Powerful Steps To Unleashing Your Creative Self There is a thread of certainty that runs through many lives. It is sensed as a measured and anticipated rhythm of predictability built upon our notions of how things have been and how they will continue to be. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Giving Thanks - A Universal Gift In the USA we celebrate Thanksgiving on the fourth Thursday in November every year. However, I've come to understand that there is great, POSITIVE power in having an "attitude of gratitude" all year long, that can create measurable differences in your life. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How to be Successful in Life or Small Business! Not everyone is programmed to be a successful businessperson, many people make it but many more fail along the way.A large part of your future success will depend on your P. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We Are All Literally Two-Faced "Your face is my map to your life." - Houdini, magicianWe are all literally and unwittingly two-faced. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ten Tips For Setting (And Keeping) Life Changing Resolutions It's time for that annual ritual of making (and breaking) our New Year's resolutions. There is something about the idea of being able to start over that motivates us to pause (at least briefly) and reflect on our lives as they are, as well as how we would like them to be. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Keys To Faster Evolution Prosperity is management of positive energy. It's individual capacity to pour energy out in the world and re-circulate back in our life. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What the Samurai Can Teach Us About Self-Improvement A Seventeenth Century Samurai maxim states:"A man who has attained mastery of an art reveals it in his every action"This saying is one of my personal favorites. There is so much depth to its meaning. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bigger Fish To Fry Last month I was on another adventure, fishing Dog Lake in Northern Ontario. That trip really brought home to me the power of the Law of Attraction. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jerry Green's Top Ten Adversity Busters I've navigated plenty of speed bumps on life's road. My father's death led me to an entirely different career than my planned one. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Affirmations Based on Rich Dad, Poor Dad I'm sure most of you have heard of, and perhaps read the book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki. If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend it along with his book "Cashflow Quadrant. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Turn Whats Bothering You Into A Blessing That which you desire to remove from your life is a blessing that you haven't yet learned to appreciate. For life does not send misfortune upon you it sends you only love. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Your Vibrational Meter Have you ever felt 'stuck' in life? I mean totally 'stuck'--immobilized, paralyzed or unable to make the right decision?Several years ago, I felt totally stuck. I was considering a business opportunity that seemed like an ideal situation for me and promised to be very lucrative as well. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Courage To Be Someone New Have you ever felt paralyzed or crippled by fear? As a businesswoman, producer, and model through my various business ventures, I've felt fearful from time to time. And I'm sure that, like me, you've found that you can accomplish little when you're afraid -- and almost nothing if you let fear of what might happen seize you. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wanderers How a few people become the worst victims of life's game, or to call it their own fate. How they are compelled to analyze life, wasting most of their time meant to prove themselves in the real world. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

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