| |
| |
|
Attraction Information |
|
|
|
<
Save This Page Links 
allspectrum.info Link exchange submission form: Featured Site Communication Expert Reveals 5 Keys To Self Expression Without Limits
Peter Murphy recently interviewed communication expert John Barker. John is a professional coach and author with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Communication Arts and Sciences. He even served in the White House where he worked with the White House Communications Agency. They discussed communication and uncovered some valuable insights that people can immediately apply to make measurable improvements in their lives. PETER: 1 Nowadays more and more people are learning how to let go of limiting feelings to improve the quality of their lives. When it comes to communicating effectively with other people what are the main barriers to effective and purposeful communication, and how can we let go of these limitations? JOHN: The barriers vary from person to person, however, the most common one I encounter in working with people is the desire to change others to fit our expectations. There are many paths to the same destination; if we release our desires we open up an infinite number of possibilities. So long as we agree on the destination we want - the feeling we want - "the how" doesn't matter. Any time we feel we want to change someone or something, this is a time when we can recognize and release our desire for control. The other part of this, is that very often we are re-living past conversations. If we have had a conflict with someone in the past; if we hold onto that feeling we bring it to the new conversation. We brace our self for dealing with the inevitable confrontation and we don't really hear what is being said in the moment. This is why it is so important and valuable to be able to release things as they come up. PETER: 2 Very often in life we know what to say and yet get tongue tied and fail to follow through when the pressure is on. What is the answer to this common challenge? JOHN: We become tongue-tied or freeze up due to our attachment to the outcome. There IS no pressure, only attachment to feelings and outcomes. By releasing on our attachment to the outcome and welcoming the experience as it occurs, we free ourselves to experience the moment effortlessly. This experience allows us to perform at our best. And, if a person does feel anxiety, stress or self-consciousness in a situation like this, trying to make the feeling go away only makes it stronger. I often use the analogy of a big brother picking on a younger sibling. Why does he do this? To get a reaction. The bigger and better the reaction, the more we encourage it. But if we welcome what is going on, he gives up. It is not as much fun as getting the reaction! And, he goes away. The same is true of the feelings we want to go away. If we welcome them and allow them to be, it is amazing how quickly that feeling will dissolve and be replaced with a feeling of peace and calm. And, sometimes we can even smile or laugh at ourselves about it because it is such a relief to just allow ourselves to be how we are. PETER: 3 Dealing with difficult people can really stretch our patience and verbal flexibility. What are your top tips for handling these situations? JOHN: Release! Release! Release! It is important to remain aware of, and release, our desire for security, approval and control as these feelings arise in our consciousness. It can also be important to recognize the other person's need for security, approval and control as well. Understanding allows compassion. I know I've wasted a lot of energy in my life trying to change other people! It's an impossible job, really. And, it is amazing how often, when we stop resisting how people are, they just magically seem to make those changes we wanted in the first place. PETER: 4 In the mad rush to get ahead very often the most important people in our lives don´t always get our full attention. How can we make sure we really listen and value the little time we do have with family and friends? JOHN: This is a real key question for many of us. I think many of us focus on allowing new things into our life; more money, more romance, more fun, more friends. But I think it's equally important for us to recognize what we allow into our life that prevents us from having the time we desire for the people we value most. Ultimately, each of us must look at our motivations for engaging in the "mad rush to get ahead". We each learn models of being in order to create results and we conform to them out of our desire for approval. But, I think we all know people who work hard and never get ahead. So is working hard the answer? Having anything you desire truly is effortless, when you release it. For me, releasing creates so many opportunities and alternatives. When I let go, I let go of lack and limitation. In its place abundance appears. My favorite quote from Lester Levenson is "Any complexity in life is the ego trying to undo the simplicity of reality." Lack is a creation, a mental concept. Whether that lack be time, money, love, or whatever. Lack is a problem we have created, like all problems. PETER: 5 In the workplace how we express ourselves has a major impact on how we are perceived by our peers. How can we communicate in a way that creates a favorable impression that reflects our contribution to the business? JOHN: If our ultimate goal is "Happiness without sorrow", then I think we first need to release on our desire for creating that "favorable impression". At best, that is only a guess regarding what the other person might want. And, it creates a limitation for us that restricts our energy, our best ideas, and the real contribution we can be to the business. Early in my career, seeking to be a "people pleaser" was one of my biggest blocks. Learning to let go of wanting my peer's approval has freed me to put forth my ideas - both "good" and "bad". And, sometimes those "bad" ideas serve to ignite great ones. It also lead me out of situations and work that were not necessarily the best match for who I am. Second, releasing on our desire for control and security allows us to stay open to the ideas and input of others. When we do this, we expand our consciousness to include not just our own thoughts, but we also gain incredible leverage from the ideas of others. Even people who challenge us can become allies, especially when we recognize why they challenge us. These challenges are a real asset when we recognize they are highlighting our blocks to real growth. On this note, sometimes our greatest contribution to a business can be our ability to make others feel comfortable by creating an environment they can thrive in. Some people might call a person able to do this a leader. So often, the workplace is a breeding ground for fear, competition and insecurities. If this ever brings out the best in people, it is short-term. Sooner or later, people burn out in these conditions. Releasing these limiting feelings increases productivity and positive results throughout a business in countless ways. PETER: Thank you very much John for taking the time to answer my questions today. You offered some great insights and novel ways of dealing with challenging people situations. John: You are very welcome Peter. I hope the readers find what I had to say of interest. Peter Murphy has a free resource all about releasing for greater success and happěness at: http://groups.msn.com/TheSedonaMethodreleasingClub/
MORE RESOURCES:
Attraction - Google News 
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Live Your Own Life Are you living your life, the way you want to live?If your reply is in affirmative then you must be a very successful and powerful person in full command of your life and the circumstances. However, if your reply is in negative, then I am sorry to say that you are like millions of other people who are living the life being dictated by others. The Wealth-Receiving Mindset Here is an exercise for you that will develop what I call the wealth-receiving mindset:I want you to think about the time in your life when you had the most money you have ever had.I don't care if the most money you've ever had was ten bucks, I want you to think about it right now. Giving Thanks - A Universal Gift In the USA we celebrate Thanksgiving on the fourth Thursday in November every year. However, I've come to understand that there is great, POSITIVE power in having an "attitude of gratitude" all year long, that can create measurable differences in your life. Wayne Dyer - 20 Abundance & Prosperity Quotes Dr. Wayne Dyer has been an inspiration for me for at least two decades now and below I wanted to share with you my favorite 20 quotes of his that relate to creating abundance and prosperity: "There is no scarcity of opportunity to make a living at what you love; there's only scarcity of resolve to make it happen. Are You a Sheep in People Clothing? Many people, who feel that they are independent and communicate well, are actually sheep in disguise. Are you one of them, how do you tell and how do you go about changing if you are?When you are able to confidently stand on your own two feet, you become in control of your own life. The Likeability Factor - Do You Have It? Growing up, we all had a mental picture of the perfect life partner The person we thought would be our happily-ever-after -- a person with a perfect smile, beautiful eyes, and an adorable button nose. Fast forward to reality and who did you wind up with?Chances are that if your partner of choice happens to be male, you ended up with a guy who is shorter than you expected, has less hair than you anticipated, but overall is a pretty neat fellow. Your Default Settings Buy a computer--any computer--and it comes loaded with software automatically set to certain default settings. For example, the default setting for Word is Times New Roman 12-point. Abundance Prosperity Based on Wallace Wattles and Napoleon Hill It is arguable that the definition of wealth is the free and unrestricted use of all of the things which may be necessary for you to advance in the direction of your dreams and aspirations thus attaining your fullest mental, spiritual, and physical prosperity.You have a right to wealth because it is simply a desire for you to have a richer fuller and more abundant life. You Cant Direct the Wind but You Can Adjust the Sails Dear Friend,First of all, let's take a look at the meaning of the word "metamorphosis" and how it can possibly be of interest to IT Service Management. Metamorphosis: Noun (plural metamorphoses - say metuh´mawfuhseez) ? "the change of form, structure, or substance, as transformation; the structural or functional modification of a plant organ or structure during its development. Your Life and Prosperity Are In Your Reputation! "Your good name and your reputation are EVERYTHING! ? Protect them at all costs!" my father used to say to me when I was a lad.Even at a young age, I knew there was something important in what my dad was trying to tell me. Write Goals, Say Prayers, and See Your Successful Future Would you like to have more success in your life? Yes, I'm sure that you do! That being the case, I have an invitation and a challenge for you. Are you up for it? Okay, here we go?We are all multi-sensory beings, meaning that we all have the sensory connections through seeing, tasting, smelling, speaking, hearing and feeling. Quick Tips On Becoming The Best In Your Field Want to be the best in your field?Edward W. Smith, motivational speaker, author and TV show host, who specializes in quick tips on how to move your life ahead even faster, offers the following advice. The Cliché of Balance The world we are living in is changing at a fast pace. Never before in the history of mankind that change was so enormous and rapid. What You Habitually Think Becomes Attracted to You Are you frustrated with a certain area of your life? Want to make a change? You can change it as soon as you decide to change it.You might say, "It can't be that simple. Its Your Life - Take Control If you seem to spend much of your life doing things for other people, if being ordered about from dawn till dusk is a normal component of your life, do something about it.Perhaps you love being with your children, but don't seem to have the time. Opportunity Will Knock, If It Can Find The Door Is your home office a spare room full of whatever doesn't fit anywhere else? Does your daily commute end with winding your way through a corporate maze to your own crowded cubicle? Do you sit down at your desk and push piles of papers aside to create a little workspace?If this sounds familiar, and you know that your productivity is suffering, maybe you want to try a little feng shui in your workspace.Feng shui (pronounced "fung schway") is the ancient art of placement and design that balances and enhances the energy flow in an environment. Is There Something Called Free Will The statement ""The concept of free will is a fallacy"" is actually fallacious! How do you live your life? of course you live with free will. You decide what to eat for breakfast, what to wear today and so on. Mirror, Mirror The Concept of Beauty"Mirror Mirror on the Wall, who's the most beautiful of them all?"This is a line spoken by the Queen in the children's fairy tale "Snow White"The Queen most likely, was once the most beautiful woman in the kingdom; expected only to hear the Mirror confirm that fact.To the Queen's dismay The Mirror had exchanged her beauty for that of Snow White's He pulled down the Queen's Beauty position replacing it with that of her Snow White's. How To Become Insane Somebody once said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result. Optimal mental health, then, may include adapting your approach if you don't get the result you want. The Good Luck Recipe! Good luck was not part of my life for many years until; I discovered a formula that has proven to be effective for me and many others.Are you ready?Okay, then here it is:1.
|
