| |
| |
|
Attraction Information |
|
|
|
<
Save This Page Links 
allspectrum.info Link exchange submission form: Featured Site Making New Friends
How do we make friends? More importantly if dropped into a new city or a new job or a new school, how do we go about making a new friends? Most of us don't really think about it, but just sort of allow people to float in and out of our lives without really paying any attention to how we pull new people into our lives. Years ago, my son was four years old and starting preschool. He had been begging to go for about a year and was thrilled that he was finally there. He had longed to play on their playground. He really loved all of the noise and commotion of such a large day care center. He was fascinated by the sight of all those other children running around laughing and playing. He was so excited to dive in and start hanging out with those other kids. He was naturally outgoing and energetic, and had wonderful social skills so I knew he'd get along just fine. I was a bit surprised when he came up to me after a few weeks and said that he was really struggling because as 'the new kid' he didn't have any friends. "How do I get some friends to play with me?" I told him that every week I would give him a new assignment. I explained to him that you don't want to run through these steps too fast because it makes people nervous and they'll push you away. You want to give them time to adjust to you as you go through these steps. For the first week all he had to do was smile a nice big smile and say, "Hi!" He needed to walk around saying 'hi' to teachers and students alike. Whoever seemed cool in his opinion. He didn't have to be a geek about it and say 'hi' to everyone, just those he thought seemed kind of interesting. This gives people the impression that you're an upbeat positive person, but not too pushy. Greet them everyday with a smile on your face. For the second week, he had to start adding their names to the cheerful greeting. When you see someone you like, smile real big and say "Hi Joey!" or "Hi Suzy!" or "Hi Anthony!" Just start learning their names and adding it to your hellos. This way they're already used to your pleasant greetings and it just personalizes it a bit. Greet them with a personalized greeting everyday. For the third week, I told him to give them an honest compliment along with the greeting. Don't make it something big and embarrassing, but something small and comfortable for them to hear you say out loud in front of others. "Hi Joey! I love your Ninja Turtle T-shirt!" or "Hi Suzy! I really like the way you color within the lines, looks great!" or "Hi Anthony! Nice haircut dude!" The key to this step is honesty. You have to find something you truly like about the person to compliment. People get an odd feeling and on some level can sense when others are being fake or insincere with them. Be honest, be upbeat, and personalize the greeting and the compliment. Again, do it every day. Consistency really matters. You're not just making them feel good about themselves, but creating a public image of yourself as a consistently upbeat positive person. For the fourth week, I was going to have him include an invitation to play with him in with his greetings, but he never got that far. He was having such a good time with all of his new friends that he never really bothered with any more lessons. He was very popular and well loved from that point on. Every time he's changed schools or neighborhoods or started going to a new church or gone away to camp or whatever, he has always used that same system to make new friends. It's foolproof and always works for him. He's just started high school this year and is incredibly confident in his ability to make new friends. Now, he simply walks up to strangers, flashes them his best grin, in a charming and almost clown like manner he greets them with a big hug, and will tell them he loves them before he even introduces himself. He just hams it up like a beloved comedian and delivers whatever silly greeting will make kids laugh. It's beautiful to watch him. There isn't a shy bone in that kids body! Can we as adults do the same thing? I know that if I really look at my own behaviors, the times that friends have seemed a bit scarce were when I wasn't doing a lot of reaching out and greeting them. If I wasn't personalizing my conversations towards them and I wasn't handing out the compliments, then new people didn't seem to stick around and develop into friendships. Most people are a lot more insecure and shy then they let on, and they really feel good when someone else notices them enough to learn their name and to greet them with a real compliment. It usually makes them feel comfortable enough to respond and to begin opening up. It's a really simple exercise? consistently greet them, personalize the greeting, and then add a compliment to the greeting, if you aren't friends by then, offer an invitation along with the greeting. People love to feel likeable. This system lets them know that you think they're likeable without making you feel like an uncomfortable nerd. It's slow enough paced to not be forced, unnatural, or pushy. We humans have funny little behavioral rules and rituals that we follow instinctively and red warning flags pop up when someone doesn't approach us just right. Deep down, I think we're still just as skittish and easily spooked away as the first cavemen. Give them time to check you out. It's amazing how beautifully this works. Copyright 2003, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge About The Author Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to spirituality, motivation, and inspiration in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, motivation, and parenting. More of her articles can be found at www.tomorrowsedge.net as well as free previews of her books.
MORE RESOURCES:
Attraction - Google News 
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
How to Attract Wealth Have you been struggling with making ends meet? Are you tired of not having enough? Then I am sure you will benefit enormously by reading on.. On Uniqueness Is being special or unique a property of an object (let us say, a human being), independent of the existence or the actions of observers - or is this a product of a common judgement of a group of people?In the first case - every human being is "special", "one of a kind, sui generis, unique". This property of being unique is context-independent, a Ding am Sich. Living Abundantly: May the Force Be With You! Perhaps, you have heard the phrase "May the force be with you" from your favorite Episode of the Star Wars movies. The Star Wars movies explore the power of our choices, the wonder of destiny, and the manifesting power that is in us and all around us. Digging To The Root Of Your Problem Most people have some aspects of themselves that they would like to change. But how often do you dig deeply to find the root of the problem?You have to address the issues that need to be changed. Perception Is Reality "We think, therefore we are."God always gives us what we expect. How To Become Insane Somebody once said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result. Optimal mental health, then, may include adapting your approach if you don't get the result you want. On St. Valentines Day, Or Any Romantic Interlude, Woo Your Sweetheart With Chocolates, Roses... On Valentine's Day, or any romantic interlude, lovers should woo their sweethearts with chocolates and roses -- but also a Leadership Talk.My experience in teaching the Leadership Talk to thousands of leaders worldwide for the past 21 years confirms that the Talk is a boon for leaders of all ranks and functions in their jobs and careers. Just Allow? But How? If you've been practising the Law of Attraction, then you're probably familiar with the expressions, "just Allow" and "it will come." Well, technically, both expressions are true. Abundance or Scarcity: What Belief Do You Choose to Engage? For the last several years, I have included on my email signature the following salutation "Peace and Abundance." This is a daily reminder that my success begins with how I engage my beliefs. Cop Some Tude! Do you express your gratitude enough? I know I don't. And I don't mean whether you write your thank-you notes on time. Four Disciplines To Getting What You Want I bet you're like me - you want results now, without having to put in the effort and time to make things change. We want to pray a prayer and have instant results. Paradigm Shift Good Morning! It's the Island outlaw here again. You know after my little tirade yesterday about Integrity and ethical behavior I felt compelled to speak on the subject of the paradigm shift in wealth consiousness. Affirmations - Anxiety & Panic Using affirmations can be a very powerful tool. You can use it in many aspects of your life to achieve certain goals and to ultimately effect the way YOU want to feel. What Love and Money Have in Common How many of us have ever felt that we've thrown our love away on some undeserving and ungrateful lover? Have you ever found yourself muttering something about an ex that included the words 'swine' and 'pearls' in among the expletives?No, of course you wouldn't dream of turning the air blue with strong statements about hurt and disappointment. But you might well have wondered how your love could be wasted. Great Communication Skills Having good communication skills in the workplace is important. This article will provide tips to take into account a rapidly changing workplace. Follow Your Passion The key to a successful life lies in following your passions. When you do this the Universe responds in a dynamic way. Make Money by Making a Life as Mother Teresa Did Many people forget business is a way of service. When you serve others, you make a life instead of making a living. Heal Thyself First As I connect with more and more women I am seeing that many have a desperate need for a man. I had one woman tell me that her ex-boyfriend put a gun to her head and told her to get out of his life. The Big Key to Freedom When our clients are exposed to our company, they are often impressed with how we really stress the concept of Freedom - and well they should be. Our central core value is Freedom, our web address is deliverfreedom. Use Your Vibrations of Energy to Communicate In the past, I have touched on the connection of quantum physics and communication. One of my passions is to understand the connection that we create on a much higher level.
|
